Why I Can't Write a Tarot Post This Week

If you're new here, this might not be too strange for you. But if you've been around this blog for a little while, you might find it weird that there isn't (and there won't be) a weekly tarot spread post talking you through the energies for the week ahead.

I sat down to write that post today -- I meditated, shuffled, pulled the cards, took a picture of them, and opened a document -- and the whole time I just felt off. I felt like I didn't have access to the clarity about the general collective to say anything accurate, heartfelt, or transformative. Even the cards I pulled for this week seemed to tell more of a personal story about me than they did about our world and our community.

I took a break, tried to write again, and while I was able to get some thoughts down on paper, they all felt empty.

Let me be clear: it's not that I felt they were wrong or that I suddenly lost my connection to intuition and divine wisdom. No actually I had quite the opposite feeling because all I kept feeling was my own need for rest, my own reflection, my own growth and healing happening in real time. The experience of my own healing and restoration over the last few days has been so profound and transformative that at this moment in time I've lost my vantage point on what's happening outside of me.

Over this long weekend, I turned my gaze inward and stopped asking questions in favor of just listening to what was already there. I learned so much this weekend and most of it was passive, to be honest. I feel like I didn't do anything, but like everything about my energy has shifted, elevated, and changed for the better.

That doesn't mean that I won't ever write a weekly tarot post again -- I hope to be back with those and much, much more to offer all of you very soon. However, one of the biggest lessons I learned this weekend was to take my own advice about self care and give myself a complete break from anything that wasn't addressing my baseline needs. This week, that means not forcing myself to write something I don't feel is coming from my heart, and instead choosing to share the message that feels most natural to me.

This week, that also means realizing that this moment is so much about introspection and individual growth that there is nothing I feel equipped to say to anyone about how to handle their own journey with those things. Over the last few days, I found so many answers both within myself and by listening to a select few trusted guides, and at this time I encourage you to do the same. My only advice this week is that you won't find very much good advice outside of yourself. I know that's a paradox, but it's what I feel to be true.

In addition to feeling like I don't have commentary on the collective right now, I also don't feel comfortable sharing the nuances of the realizations I've had recently. I feel that way because so much of the healing I am doing right now is extremely personal, and sharing that in any way -- including through a weekly tarot that I felt was more about me than anyone else -- I felt like I would be betraying the sacredness of the breakthroughs I had.

Maybe one day I will want to share those realizations, and if I do, I hope my words can convey the intense impact they had on me and my journey. One realization I do want to share today is that I no longer want to feel shame or guilt for wanting to keep some things just for me. I want to preserve the sacred moments by being extremely selective about whether I share them, and if I do, with whom. I want to treat certain experiences as holy and revere them as such by keeping them private. Again, not because I don't want to share and connect with others, but because this is where I am in learning how to honor myself.

For me, this week it's important that I honor my instinct to turn inwards and not externalize my personal messages by projecting them onto the collective. When I read weekly tarot spreads, I truly do take myself out of the energy -- obviously, because I'm living in the same world as everyone else, the messages apply to me as well, but I specifically pull cards for the collective and not for my individual self. In keeping with that integrity, I never want to deliver a message that I know deep down applies only to me as though it is a communal/general message.

I hope this makes sense, and I hope that everyone has as good a week as possible! We can all look forward to more Weekly Tarot posts in the future :)