What To Do when Sh*t Hits the Fan

What To Do when Sh*t Hits the Fan

If you’re a person currently living in this world, this post is for you.

There has been a lot going on lately in the world -- from COVID-19 to protesting injustice to political and economic changes and beyond. Like all changes in life, these have been chaotic and uncomfortable not only on a societal level but on an individual level as well.

These world events have such a big impact on us as individuals whether we notice it or not. Sometimes the impact is so subtle we can’t quite put our finger on what feels off within us, while other times, we are straight up triggered into feeling immobile, both physically and emotionally. Whether we’re aware of it or not, these tough times outside of us create a tough time within us.

Right now, you might feel like the world is crashing down around you and you’re powerless to stop it or to gain control. You might feel like shit is hitting the fan big time. You might feel like you can’t rest or focus until things are resolved on the larger scale.

Today, I want to tell you that even though shit is hitting the fan, there are things you can do to feel better. These actions may not fix everything, in fact, I don’t think there’s any one solution that will fix it all right now. But at the very least you can take some time to remind yourself how much you do control in your own life and experience.

Before we get into the list, I’d like to note that I truly believe we cannot fight for the things we believe in without first fighting for and healing ourselves. If we are tired, broken, and sick we will not be able to do our due diligence in advocating for a brighter future and healed society. I believe that in order to heal as a collective we must first heal ourselves; or at the very least, we must heal simultaneously and know when to focus on ourselves versus focusing on humanity. 

That being said, I don’t mean this list to say we all need to leave the movements behind in order to take care of ourselves. I do not believe that those actions are mutually exclusive, but instead, that we should recognize that we are only able to give to others what we have in ourselves. When we take time to heal individually, we have more to give because we are more whole in and of ourselves. But, I digress.

Here are four of my tried and true things to do when shit hits the fan:

1. Take a deep breath. And then another, and another, and another...It’s widely known that most of us aren’t breathing correctly most of the time. To be honest, I haven’t looked up what the exact statistic is, but from my own personal experience, I know that when I consciously take a deep breath it feels completely different from how I breathe throughout the day. That difference alone is enough to convince me that I’m not usually making the most of my lungs or my breathing in general.
   
   Taking deep breaths -- more specifically, breaths where we feel our whole chest and bellies fill up and expand -- are not only calming to our nervous system but also extremely healing. They actually change the chemistry of our bodies by flooding our blood cells with life-giving oxygen.
   
   This is first on the list because it’s easily the most important. Make sure that you’re breathing deeply often, and come back to this any time you feel your stress levels spiking.

2. Make sure you’re sleeping enough. When things are chaotic around us, oftentimes the first thing to go is our sleep schedule and sleep hygiene. Your sleep schedule not only ensures that you have adequate time to rest and recover to take on the next day, but it also regulates pretty much all of your hormones. In case you weren’t aware, hormones account for almost all of our automatic (and necessary) bodily functions, so you can bet that throwing them off with just a few days and nights of sloppy sleep schedules will have a big impact on your overall well being.
   
   Sleep hygiene is a term that describes the environment and routines we have around sleeping. This includes everything from what you do in the couple of hours before bed to the temperature and light levels in your room when you’re asleep, and sleep hygiene can make or break the quality of sleep you’re getting. When news is constantly breaking we may feel the need to stay up later than usual to keep scrolling on social media, and we may even bring our phones to bed, flooding our eyes with harmful blue light that keeps us awake even longer and prevents us from getting truly restful sleep.
   
   If you’re feeling unusually irritable, insatiably hungry during the day, or constantly in a foggy fatigue, check in with yourself about your recent sleep habits as these are all signs of a disrupted sleep schedule and poor sleep hygiene.

3. When was the last time you ate? No yea, like a real meal. It’s a normal physical response to have different hunger and fullness cues when we’re experiencing an abnormal level of stress. It’s also completely normal for that to mean you don’t feel hungry and forget to eat. However, when stress is what’s blocking our hunger cues, we still need to eat regularly to properly fuel our bodies.
   
   Especially if you struggle with disordered eating, this is an important step for you. In my experience, the times I was most disordered with food and eating were when I felt the most out of control in my life -- I turned to controlling my food intake as a coping skill to make me feel more in control of my life trajectory. Pay attention to your behaviors around food and you may find the same type of cause and effect happening. I am by no means saying that every single person, or even that most of you reading this, will come to the same conclusion about this that I did. However, I do think it’s an important question to ask to make sure you cover all your bases when taking care of yourself in a time of high stress.
   
   It’s extremely important to ask yourself regularly when the last time was you ate, and then eat if it’s been a while even if you aren’t “feeling hungry”. I don’t care what you eat -- you’re already stressed enough to be worrying about what’s “healthy” and what’s “junky”, just pick something that sounds satisfying and go for it. Repeat this practice as long as you’re under stress, and I’m sure you’ll find you can deal a lot better when you have a fueled body.

4. Put down your phone and walk away. Screen fatigue is a real thing, and even more so during times when news is constantly and consistently breaking. It can honestly get really addicting to consume news at the rates we have access to. Thanks to various apps with a “live” function, as things are happening we’re able to know about them.
   
   I want you to think about something for a minute: we have literally never had access to this much news. What we are putting our brains through when we seek out and consume what is often extremely graphic and upsetting news is not normal, and further, it’s not something our minds are actually physically and biologically built to handle.
   
   First of all, forgive yourself for not realizing what you were even doing to your mind by spending so much time on your phone. Be compassionate with yourself by recognizing that your news consumption habits are normalized in modern society, and you are simply doing what you’ve been conditioned and taught to do. After all, it’s not your fault that Twitter and Facebook can easily become endless streams of graphic and triggering content.
   
   Understand that just because it isn’t your fault, doesn’t mean you can’t set up your own boundaries around how you engage with these platforms and with your phone (or technology) in general. Sometimes, it really is too much and you really have reached your saturation point. Learn to recognize what that point feels like -- it might be a sudden and debilitating headache, or a feeling of fiery rage, or the need to cuss someone out. You might get sick to your stomach, or really subtly just start to feel existential or doomed. 
   
   Whatever your specific signal is, learn it and act on it by putting down your phone as soon as you notice it. Then, check in with yourself about your boundaries. Do you need to put a time limit on certain apps or certain virtual conversations? Do you need to pair every minute on social media with a minute doing yoga or watching your favorite comedy show? Do you need to delete an app off your phone for the next month? When you check in, you’ll know what you need to do, I’m sure of it.

Many of these are low effort, but if you’re truly depleted you might feel like you don’t have enough energy or resources to do these things. If that’s the case, consider that what you really need right now may be to do absolutely nothing. Try turning everything off (besides the AC or fan because it’s summer and I don’t want you overheating) and just laying in a comfortable position while you focus on your breath for a while. 

What are some of your favorite things to do when you feel out of control? Let’s share our tips in the comments below!