Energy Update: Resistance & Surrender
The other day, I got on Instagram and offered to pull one card to answer questions for whoever wanted to participate. It’s a rewarding experience for me because I like providing guidance in any way that I can, even if it is small. My goal is always to help as many people as possible, and in return, I get to take the pulse of the collective energy. This time, I noticed a theme in the questions being asked almost right away.
I couldn’t put my finger on it immediately, but it felt a lot like energy I’ve been picking up on this week from family and friends. Many of the questions asked looked something like “Should I do option 1 or should I do option 2?” I realized that this kind of questioning comes from a very specific feeling: when we ask about one option over another, we’re subconsciously trying to state that we know all the options of how something could play out. We want to believe that we can see every possible outcome, and we convince ourselves that it’s not about control but rather about a choice.
I call bullshit. I think it is all about control. Thinking that we at any time have any idea what could come of any situation in our lives is somewhat delusional. In reality, there is very little that we do have control over in our lives, and most of it is how we react. We cannot decide what to do or how to act solely based on how something will turn out because we cannot ever truly anticipate the future. So many of the questions I got the other day had this sense of trying to anticipate the future, trying to get ahead of any impending disaster or hairpin turn in the road. I believe that at the root of that attempt is resistance.
“What are you talking about? Resisting what?” you may be thinking. What I mean is that trying to anticipate the future in order to make a choice is really just resisting the flow of life. It’s resisting the way things naturally unfold, and its resisting the very idea that we are not in control of most things. In my experience, resistance is most present when big change is on the horizon. We can often feel a shift happening before we can see it rippling through our lives. Like animals sensing a coming storm and seeking shelter, we can’t seem to explain the anxiety that rises within us when we just know in our gut that something big is changing.
Usually, this deeper knowing sets us off looking for an exit door so we can escape before the change can come. Unfortunately, this means we’re completely missing the point. Resisting change doesn’t just prohibit us from feeling growing pains, it also prevents us from growing at all…even in the good ways that we pray for. Resistance isn’t the answer, and neither is pretending that we have any control because it brings us even further away from what we actually want: growth and contentment. That being said, I always feel like resistance is the big X on the ground that marks the treasure of what we want buried deep underground. In my experience, where there is great resistance there is something that needs to be welcomed in in order to level up.
But on the other side of resistance is surrender. In my opinion, surrender is devalued in our culture; we’re taught that surrender is weak, demeaning, and lazy. I think overlooking surrender is a mistake. Surrender is a powerful and conscious act. It’s not something that you can just fall into doing, it take conscious thought and direction to truly surrender. It takes looking deep into your own resistance and deciding not to let it win this time. Surrender in the face of resistance is an admission of the lack of control we have in life, it is a step towards making peace with our humanity.
Instead of trying to anticipate all the possible outcomes and asking which one is most likely, this energy we’re in is asking us to surrender to whatever changes need to happen. Whether something is crumbling to pieces in your life, or you are being faced with a situation that breaks your heart, if you are feeling resistant to it and the upheaval it will inevitably bring to your life that’s a good sign that surrender is what you really need. What would happen if you stopped at the big X on the ground and took it as a sign to never dig again? You would miss out on the beautiful treasure waiting just a few feet underground. I’m not suggesting that surrender is an immediate relief in the face of challenge and difficult change — after all, you still have to break a sweat digging for a few hours to even see the treasure chest — but I am saying that it is a necessary step to get the most out of the moment.
There is so much waiting for us, for all of us, on the other side of this big, scary unknown. At the core, that’s what this is all about: the unknown and how it makes us want to run and hide. As humans there is very little that scares us more than not knowing, and yet, some of the most beautiful things in life come from surrendering to the ultimate truth that we can never know everything.